Thursday, October 29

Laurence Martin: New Updates

I needed to walk from the base camp into town today. It's about 15 miles, but I decided to stick my thumb out and got a ride in about 5 minutes.

As a result, I met another former Houstonian who now resides here in the Cache Valley.
I swear we are all secretly taking over this valley. It's suprising how many folks I've met that are former residents of the great state of Texas.
He owns a shop here and we had an interesting, if brief, conversation before he dropped me off at the new WallyWorld store on the south end of town.

I got my laptop out of the pawnshop after that, which accounts for my lack of posts here since the middle of the month.
I also splurged on a new phone, since Alicia and her dad sorta-kinda borrowed mine for their trip back to Texas. Which is fine by me, cause I wanted a new number anyway

I am now sitting at the Hastings coffee shop, catching up on my emails, virus updates, and charging both laptop and new cellphone. Thank the good lord it isn't 12 degrees F with a 30 mph north wind today like it has been the last few. Our first snow arrived two days ago, but we only got about 2 inches. Enough to make me lust for the warm beaches in Costa Rica.
I am not a winter person.
In fact, it is beautiful today. The sun is out in force, and only a few traces of high clouds are evident in the northwest.

I really need to get a place here in town. Living at the base camp without a vehicle sucks, and it will suck even more when winter arrives in force. The buses here in town are free, work is close by, and I wouldn't miss being stuck on the foothills of the Wellsville Mountains if it meant I could get to work or the grocery store more easily.
It seems that it is time for a change, but I'll have to see how any change will be possible in the next month or so.

Anyway, the point of this post for all you 2.37 readers out there is:

I have a new phone number. I haven't updated my Google Voice account yet, so if you want it, you'll have to email me for it.

Sunday, October 18

Homesick

WhataBurger.

Last night a coworker mentioned this venerable fast food chain.

I must say that I was instantly salivating at the thought.
How a USU student heard of WhataBurger I do not know, because I kept drooling like an idiot at the thought of cruising down the street to order from their drive-thru menu.


It then occurred to me that I wasn't in Texas anymore.

Damn!

If I could get a franchise for a WhataBurger up here in Utah I would eat the entire inventory right now.

Do I miss Texas?
Yeppers.

Saturday, October 17

Ponder This - The Hadron Collider vs Higgs Boson


My theory of quantum gravity:

It doesn't exist because the future is preventing the past from discovering it.

Yes, I'm crazy as a rabid Capuchin monkey. So what?

Todays Trivia Question

"Am I farting holes in my underwear?"
You are welcome.

Dog Has Good Lawyer - Plea Bargain Arraigned

The other day Ella decided to expand her range of interests and meandered beyond her usual habit of visiting her dog-friends next door.


She usually keeps herself on the block, visiting Sage and Kally and occasionally venturing towards the end of the block to poop on somebody's lawn.

It turns out that she got a wild hair up her ass and decided to visit a new dog up the street, and as I later learned from talking to his owner Tina, eating all of his dog food.
Since Tina didn't know who Ella belonged to, and since Ella was making a pest of herself, she tied Ella up to a fence post and called (gasp!) TheDogCatcher.
These events were unknown to me at the time.

All I knew is that she showed up later in the day without her collar along the vet and license tags that were attached, and if I don't mind saying, cost me some hard earned cash to acquire.

I figured she got caught under some fence and the dang collar slipped off and now I'd have to visit the Authorities and get replacements.
But, as I was later to learn, she escaped from her tether and came home running to Mama (I guess that's me), acting so nonchalant that I suspected that nothing was amiss.
A few hours later I needed to take the trash out and took Ella with me because she told me she needed to pee.
As I was leaving the trash bin, TheDogCatcher pulled up into the driveway and said hey.
This is when I learned the truth about my wayward teen-aged dog.

I must admit some guilt here as I was lazy that day, and just let Ella to roam without supervision, and took a nap while she was cavorting with a strange dog, eating his DogChow, and generally causing dog mayhem that included teasing another poor soul chained up without the possibility of escape.

Her charge in the court of law here is "Dog at Large", and is punishable by a fine of $20. She certainly is going to perform tricks to get her treats for the foreseeable future to earn her keep now.

After all, ahe owes me one for keeping her out of jail.

Friday, October 16

Did You Ever...

...have a great idea for a blog post?

Perhaps you even wrote it up in your mind during the spare moments in your daily life, editing here and there and just waiting to write it down for posterity?


Then when you got to actually sit down and put it on electronic paper, you couldn't remember what the freak you wanted to say, let alone having a certain pinache that you wanted to express to others?

No?

Yeah, me neither.

Happy Birthday To Me

I came into work at the mines for my regular shift, and the other graveyard guys surprised me a with little birthday celebration.
Home-made chocolate cupcakes along with IBC root beer and IBC cream soda and Rocky Road ice cream.
I also got a cool card stuffed with a little cash (good thing it was the day after payday, hehe).

Like always, I told them I just turned 29 (again).

Tuesday, October 13

Port of Oakland Bans Older Trucks

If you are a trucker and you drive a rig that is older than 1994, even if it is in showroom condition, guess what?
You can't enter the Port of Oakland after January 1st, 2010.

From the Life on the Road blog
If your truck’s engine was built before 1994, no matter how well you’ve taken care of your motor and how many overhauls, your truck will be banned from the Port of Oakland beginning Jan 1.

Friday, October 9

Spam Crackdown Threatens Economy


Spam Crackdown Threatens Koy4Goff's Penis Enlarger, Free iPod Industry

Tuesday, October 6

44 Tons of Bison Meat Smells Up South Dakota

Behind the freezer doors at a meat plant mysteriously abandoned by its owner, the 44 tons of bison meat managed to hold its own for months, masked by the brutal chill of two South Dakota winters.
More of the story here.

Monday, October 5

A Horse Is A Horse, Of Course

I feed Mr. Ed while Ella taunts...

Thursday, October 1

Utah Sucks

Bejesus!

Here I am sitting in my backyard on a beautiful October 1st sunny afternoon.
The sun is out, and a gentle breeze is flowing eastward over the Wellsville mountain range.


There is snow on those mountains, extending downwards to about 5,500 feet thanks to a storm that passed through last night. This backyard is about 500 feet below that snowline.
It's freaking 43 degrees here right now, with an expected low of about 28F tonight and a whopping high of about 48 tomorrow, and the same is forecast for the foreseeable future.

My joints are already creaking at the thought of it all. No more 80-90 degree summer days.
Sh*t!

Winter has arrived, and I am not at all happy about it.
Phooey! I'm moving back to Texas.
I can't face another winter here. Scraping ice of the windshield. Dodging malicious snowdrifts. Finger and toes numb from the cold.
I need some warmth right now - a cozy ice house and good friends.
Miss you all down there. Hopefully I'll be back soon.

Tuesday, September 29

Why I Have No Date

Because I spend my spare time perusing sites like this one...
The Toothpick Sharpener.

Please, just kill me.

Thursday, September 24

Knight Me You Buggers

Choices, choices...
Should it be Lord Laurence or Baron Laurence?
Maybe Laurence, Viscount of Cache Valley.
Nah, those are just too pretentious.

I'll just go with Sir Laurence.

Now all I have to do is come up with £195.